I can text with my tongue
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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