let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Vodka?
Forever.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
