Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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