Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I have tasted many bathrooms
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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