You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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