He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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