I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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