with your own penis?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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