Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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