You can't special order awesome
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
