OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
