And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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