Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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