I wish I could teleport
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
