just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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