Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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