No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
