fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
