I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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