Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize