Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I need water and some morals
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
