What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i drank out of a bidet.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
