he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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