I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
