we have officially lost it.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize