Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
