I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
