We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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