Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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