He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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