Nicole vs. Life
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
