I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
