I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
They took my balls.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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