It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face