i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more