I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.