We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice