i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.