I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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