i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
