i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
