3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
