He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
