So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
