Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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