i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
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