theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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