So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize