I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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