Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
