i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
