forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
