Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
