i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
