I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
