There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
