What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
