I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
