Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
