I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
