Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
pop tarts are not kleenex
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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