I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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