You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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