Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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